I don't know what to do anymore

So, here we sit in Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyi, a tiny place having met our second child during this process, and once again we don't know what's going to happen. S (the facilitator) says he wants to fight. But there is a potential that the birth mother, who was deprived her parental rights, may have petitioned on Friday. We have to meet with the inspector tomorrow morning and see what's going to happen. My heart can't take this. I can't describe the feeling that I have in my stomach. I have a child in this world... and I can't get to him. And everyone around me is trying to stop my. I know that God can do anything and everything He chooses. I just don't understand what's happening and why. We will keep everyone updated. Hopefully this won't be a setback.

Hmmm...

This is the second time in 24 hours that I have read this passage. My devotional has used the verse in Mark 10:24 often, that with God all things are possible. But Mark 10:29-31 state:

29 "Truly I tell you," Jesus replied, "no one who has left home or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or fields for me and the gospel30 will fail to receive a hundred times as much in this present age: homes, brothers, sisters, mothers, children and fields—along with persecutions—and in the age to come eternal life.31 But many who are first will be last, and the last first."

So right now we need prayers for:

1) That K (the new translator) would arrive, safe and rested, and be able to help us communicate with AS and the others around here. Again there are no people who speak English here, and Dave and I speak very (VERY) little Russian.

2) That we can continue to bond with AS. He's a sweet little guy, but distractable. He seems interested in Skyping with other family members etc. I think that will be good. But he will be leaving everything he knows. Even if it's not the greatest place, this is his home.

3) That we can get the paperwork done THIS WEEK that we need to get done in order to receive our court date.

4) That there are NO DELAYS. The courts here love to delay, particularly if you don't do certain things to grease the wheels.

5) For Dave and I to stay strong and faithful to what we're doing. We feel that there are a lot more obstacles in the way here. We want to continue to do what we've set out to do, but this city is very depressing. I can't tell you how bleak it is... I have described it as merely surviving, not really living.

6) For our kids. That they can remain healthy and strong while we're away. And that our separation won't be too long. We're not sure, now that we're here if they should come over or what. There is nothing to do here, nothing to see, and it's a little more dangerous than in Kiev. We're trying to make a plan, and were hoping to do so in the next week.

Our visit today

Today we went to the orphanage for about an hour and a half. We went a little early and interrupted homework time, but they assured us that we would be able to visit for a little bit anyway. Tomorrow we could visit twice, but we will be without a translator for the morning. So we probably will go only once for this time. During our visit today we Skyped with the girls for a few minutes (it was early and they were still half asleep) and with Dave's parents. S introduced them as "babushka" and "dadushka". I think AS was a little overwhelmed with all the new family. We showed him pictures of cousins, aunts, uncles, our house, his new school, our church, and we also showed him where he is now in relation. It's kind of scary. I described an average day at our house, what we normally do, and about where we live. He seemed OK with it. I told him about Alabaster Rec league sports. And I described to him what would happen if we adopted him. I told him that he would be our son, like Zoe and Addie are our daughters. I told him that everything we have would also be his. I told him that didn't mean he had to forget where he was from, but that he would be permanently be in our family. I think he thought that was OK :). So overall it was a good visit today. Ended with games of Stupid Zombies and Tank Hero.

International Women's Day

So next weekend Ukrainians celebrate National Women's Day. It's kind of funny based upon how they normally treat women, but that's neither here nor there. When we went to the orphanage this morning (they told us that weekends we could visit 10-1 and 3-6), but when we got there they told us AS was at school because next weekend was a holiday. I thought that was funny... they give you something, but they take something also. So S (the facilitator) is going to take us back over in a bit and then head back to Kiev. A new translator is coming in the morning, and she will be with us while S is back in the capital.

The man who owns our new accommodations is former military and very severe looking. Yesterday he was telling us "I am former military, no one will bother you here" and "I walk at night all the time. No one bothers me. You can walk at night". Then I said "But we're not as scary looking as you are!", to which he laughed (it's very difficult to make anyone laugh here), and told us we could carry his screwdriver. In any case, we paid about $300 for a weeks' stay, and a couple loads of laundry. Not too bad. We paid less than $5 for our breakfast of an omelet, pancake, and pastry with a pot of tea and bottle of water. The man who gave me my tea today was the first person in Bilhorod-Dnistrovskyi to actually speak any English other than S, us, some other foreigners, and AS (who knows most of the alphabet, 1-11, yes, no, and some other things). Some things here are pretty reasonably priced, but I am still afraid we will run out of money before heading back to Kiev.

Since we didn't get the document we needed from the orphanage director yesterday, she told us to get it on Tuesday. She says if she gives it too early the prosecution (the people representing the state in the court adoption hearing) will say they have been bribed, and no bond between us and the child had actually been made. So we hope to get it Tuesday and then be on the way to getting the next document from the Adoption Inspector. S is working overtime to get these things done.

So AS's absolute favorite thing is the android tablet. He loves playing games on it. We get in a little conversation, a little English, and then he's ready to play. Today we're hoping to get a little time in looking at where we live, our houses, around Alabaster etc on Google Earth while we're in the orphanage. I'd also like to explain a little about what it means to be adopted. And then we will let him ask us any questions he wants to. Of course at the end I am sure he will want to play more games. He loves the Tank Hero game... he's a regular military genius. S says he's very Russian... destroy everything and use every bullet you can. To me that's a very 8 year old boy thing. No sense of conservation.

We found a new place to stay!

So there are NO apartments here for us to stay in, but today S found us a nicer, cleaner, quieter hotel with a common kitchen and a woman who does laundry for 20 hyrivna per load, which is about $2.50. I am very thankful also to have an actual shower as opposed to a room with a shower head on the wall, small sink, and toilet. It was a mildewy mess, true story. So today we say goodbye (or rather dasvedanya) to the Fiesta Hotel.

First of all, I don't know how to caption this as I don't know what it is. At all. It's like screwed into the ground. On the sidewalk. We speculated it was so people couldn't drive up and park on the sidewalk up there.

Here, Rachel is walking away from Fiesta. Our room was the right above where she's standing.

In front of Fiesta. It's a restaurant and hotel.

Here is Green Noise. It wasn't noisy but it was smoky.

Some more funny stories...

So yesterday we had to eat the fastest lunch in the world because we had to be back at the Inspector's office. S took us to this place that had a cafe in it. Dave got us some vereniki (sp) and some chicken kabobs and potatoes. I didn't eat all my chicken or potatoes and Dave was trying to eat them, but we only had about 5 minutes. So Dave heads to the bathroom, comes back, wraps his kabobs in a napkin and takes them with us. S cannot believe what is happening, and the whole way back is complaining about how bad the smell is from the chicken. Once we get to the inspector, he still hasn't finished it and throws it outside for the stray dogs. Needless to say it wasn't there when we went by today. I guess Ukrainians don't do doggie bags.

Today we went to the orphanage for a couple hours to visit. AS (that's what I'll call the boy on here), colored for a minute, ate some (really ALL) snacks, and once we showed him the video on the tablet, went at the games like any red-blooded 8 year old boy would. He was so pleased with himself, and even knew a lot of English words like, "start". I am sure after today, he knows the word "play". In any case, we were talking with S about games, and Dave said something about Zombies, and AS looks up suddenly and says "Zombies?!", and then rattled on in Russian about wanting to play a game about Zombies. Apparently they transcend culture.

We should know a little more tomorrow. I think what the plan will be for us is to try and have an hour of time we talk and learn some English, and an hour of time we play. Just pray that tomorrow we can get the necessary papers filed. And hopefully find another place to stay that is either nicer around the same price or cheaper. While we're only paying about $50/day, this place has no laundry facilities, no kitchen, and no internet other than the wifi that doesn't always work. It's also VERY noisy. The doors and walls are paper thin and you can hear everything. Not great for an insomniac.

What we're going to do... And a funny story

So we are staying in a hotel that roughly translates to "Fiesta", and has a restaurant underneath with very inconsistent Wi-Fi. But so far we've been able to Skype with the kids, which was like a balm to my heart. In any case, when we went to the restaurant last night for dinner, I was expecting Mexican fare, but instead it was all Ukrainian food. So yesterday marked the first time we had Ukrainian fare since being in Ukraine either time. There's a place called "Noise" across the street, which I am sure will prove to be the quietest restaurant in town.

After we talk with the kids in a few minutes, we're going to head to the store to get a few things for our visit this afternoon. Tomorrow we will go see the inspector and notary which are like lawyers. I hope to be able to give everyone some information after tomorrow, since right now we're not 100% sure what's going to happen. The child we have been referred for was being pursued by another family in the U.S. It breaks my heart that another family will have to go through the same thing we did. In any case we will know more tomorrow and we'll see what happens.

Prayer requests for today:

1) For our visit this afternoon, for bonding, and a sense from God of what He wants us to do.

2) For QUICKNESS in completing each step. We are praying that we can be home before Easter.

3) That we can find a more permanent place to stay with internet and laundry. This is apparently hard to come by here.

4) That we can get everything done with the money we have. There's more expense for us being down here.

5) That I can bear this separation from the children. I feel it most acutely when I am tired or overwhelmed.

6) that we will not have a spirit of fear, but one of faith. There's a reason we're here!

Thanks again in sharing this journey with us. We thank God that we have people who are praying for us and behind us.