So yesterday I just started crying, heartily and jaggedly, on the way to Wal-Mart. I cried as I prayed for Asher, as I prayed for Zoë and Addie, and as I prayed that our luggage would make it again (I know I know). My heart just feels torn into a million pieces. As I have been reading about some friends' adoption from Ukraine (this is the couple we met our first week in Kiev), my heart longs even more to be there with our son. I have moments of anxiety that somehow we won't be able to adopt him when we return, or that something will happen. But I have to keep remembering the feeling I had when we were with him. Like he was already ours. Like the hand of God was on us and on him. Dave says it best when he just says "we need to go get our boy".
I just have that war within myself... all the "what ifs". But no matter what, God is still God, and He is still good. I have been talking with Zoë and Addie about how God protects us, and how we don't have to be afraid. It's a good lesson for me. While I was reading my devotional the other day, it said something to the effect that yes, we will have troubles in this world. But Jesus overcame the world. So why should we be afraid? Why should we be anxious? In preparing for our last week home before returning, I am trying to prepare my heart for whatever may come. We're in this together, and thank each of you for supporting and praying for us. It means a lot to have people who care about us to lift us up.
No comments:
Post a Comment