Lifesong For Orphans

If you would like to donate to our adoption fund, it's now tax deductible if you donate through Lifesong. You can either click the link to the right, which will take you to Pay Pal (note that Pay Pal takes 1.9-2.9%) or send a check made out to:

Lifesong for Orphans
P.O. Box 40/202 N. Ford Street
Gridley, IL 61744
In the Memo Please note our last name: Benz/# 2472

Again, we so appreciate each one of you who has donated thus far. We feel a sense of urgency after our last meeting with our Social Worker. She feels that we may travel as early as January, and at that time we will need about $20,000 in cash to take with us. We are prayerfully considering where the Lord is leading us in terms of who we are going to adopt. We hope that you will join with us! Thanks again!

Hope

Last Sunday was Adoption Sunday at church. It was such a blessing to me! Then on Wednesday night we got confirmation that our dossier was submitted successfully in Ukraine! We got word that we now have to wire $2500 to Ukraine on Tuesday which will completely drain our account and then some. As an aside Addie just gave me a dollar, and said "put this in the adoption account. I just wanna meet those boys!". I am struggling to stay faithful to the committment we made with each other and with the Lord that we wouldn't go into debt to complete this adoption. I know that He is faithful. He will provide in His time. I just have to let Him!

Prayer requests at this time:

1) that God will provide the money. If you feel led to contribute anything, even if it's just a dollar, please do so! You can do it through the button to the right!

2) That God would continue to replace our will with His. That our hearts and those of our children would be prepared according to His will.

3) that we can figure out this travel thing... Who's going and when and for how long.

Thank you so much for your prayers. I keep thinking of the words that Kenneth Bruce said last week "Jesus purchased us at a great price. We purchase our children at a great price"... This is what happens when He calls us to adoption. We have to go out into the world to rescue our children just as Jesus did for us. We're all called to the care of orphans. This is a great way to do that!

And then...

We got confirmation today that Lifesong for Orphans received our application for fundraising help. Please be in prayer that they will be able to help us in some way. I know the work they do is very important, and it so pleases me that there are organizations out there like them!

In other news I was able to eat lunch today with an adoptive mother of 3! It was so refreshing to be able to talk to someone who's been there and sees the other side so clearly. It's great to see the way the Lord works in the lives of the parents and children who have been united through adoption!

Dossier Info

So we had our super quick and efficient (Thanks Jana) dossier materials sign-a-thon today. I thought about how I felt like I was signing my life away when I signed all of our mortgage papers, but this feeling was quite the opposite! Prayer requests at this time:

1) that our Immigration fingerprints would be accepted and returned quickly (being a nurse I have TERRIBLE fingerprints. They tell me it's because I wash my hands so much. And they say it like that's a bad thing).

2) that our paperwork would be accepted and processed in Ukraine without incident.

3) that God would continue to prepare our hearts and those of our kids in Ukraine for the day we meet and get to bring them home.

4) that God would miraculously provide monetarily for this adoption. Dave and I went into this with the thought that the Lord would provide the money without having us go into debt. We know He's good for it. We sent off our first grant application (since you can't apply until you have an approved home study)... Pray that we would be able to get some help in this way.

Thanks so much!

November 23rd!

This year on Thanksgiving, I will have an extra thing to be thankful for. The liaison in Ukraine got us a court date for our dossier submission on November 23rd, the day before Thanksgiving! Our social worker here thinks that he is trying to have us approved in Ukraine by the end of the year. While we still have a long way to go, I have felt so blessed in recent days by the people I have "run into" and by our church. This has happened so much faster than we thought it would given that it took about 6 months to complete the home study portion of our process.

Prayers that we need:

1) That the Lord would prepare the hearts and minds of the children He has waiting for us.
2) That the Lord would prepare our hearts (Dave, the kids, and I) to be open and loving to our children.
3) That God's will would ultimately be done. That the glory would be His.
4) That God will provide the finances needed to see this adoption to completion.
5) That we would make the right decision regarding what to do with Zoë and Addie during our time in Ukraine. Given how fast this is moving, we may travel before the summer, and they will still be in school. We want to do what is right by them, whether we un-enroll and home school them for a month or have them stay here for at least a portion of the time.

Thanks so much for your prayers during this time!

Operation Christmas Child!

My family has been so blessed and the kids wanted to share their joy and blessings with other children around the world. Each year, Samaritan's Purse sends out thousands of shoe boxes filled with gifts and the message of hope to children in impoverished countries. I don't know that these boxes will find their way to Ukraine where our future children are, and I won't be able to see the look on these kids faces when they get their box where ever they might be, but I know that Jesus loves the little children. A lot. Here are some pictures of the girls preparing the boxes. They spent a lot of time picking out just the right things for each one.

Here's Zoë;s finished product.

Here she is putting it together.

Addie's finished box.

Addie's preparing her box.

Madly wrapping and writing. Addie included her memory verse, "I can do all things through Him who gives me strength" Philippians 4:13. Of course they'll probably need a translator to figure that one out.

FINALLY!

Our home study is being finalized and we're starting the process of immigration! We had our first home study interview in March of this year and it's just now being finalized. I guess I thought this would be the easy part... little did I know :). The Lord has provided the money we need to finish the home study and begin the immigration paperwork, but we're now out of the money we've raised so far. Does anyone have any good ideas for a fundraiser? We still need to raise about $35,000! But God is faithful. This is HIS adoption, and if it's His will I know He will provide.

The Lonely Road

I was talking to someone last week about how lonely this adoption journey has seemed to me. Even though I talk openly with people about our adoption, why we're doing it, and what's happening, it's very difficult to not feel like you're on your own. Dave sort of knows what I mean when I talk to him, but I think he and I are experiencing this in very different ways. When I see the months turn on the calendar I can't help but notice that time is going by so fast, but then I think about all we have yet to do, and I wonder how we will ever get it done. My heart aches, and I think about the children the Lord has for us. I wonder what will happen, what they'll be like, and how our family will change. I commit this process to the Lord, and know that He knows the plans he has for us. It's just so scary to not know how things will happen, when they will happen, etc. I look at my girls and think, how will the effect them? What changes will happen in their lives? I have peace that I am where I need to be, and that knowing I don't know is OK. Maybe this is time for our family to grow with God, without the input of the outside world. Maybe we're learning more about ourselves in the process.

T-Shirts

I meant to post this on here a while ago, but here is a picture of the t-shirts we are selling for $20. If you would like to purchase one, let us know!

Just a hangin' out!

In my mind I am constantly wondering if this is the last summer of our life with 2 kids. Everything we do, I wonder, "what will this be like after the adoption?"... I have a feeling I have no idea! The length of time it takes to finalize an adoption is a little discouraging to me right now, but I am trying to persevere and have courage. It's all exciting at first, then slowly people stop asking you about it and then a day or two goes by and no one has said anything and I wonder if it's even real. Then I do some reading or fill out yet another page of questions or another form, and I know in my heart that it is. We're still trying to raise money, but that's slowed quite a bit too. I'm just trying to be like Joshua. Strong and courageous and trusting in the Lord each step of the way. We have had some encouragement along the way. We were lacking a reference letter that one of Addie's teachers had promised to write, and one of Zoe's emailed me and said he'd do it! He has adopted 3 times, and really has a heart for the Lord and a heart for orphans. It's been so amazing to notice the people God's placed in our lives over the past few months who can be of encouragement!

It's been a while!

There's not too much to report here... We seem to be in a holding pattern, waiting for the home study to be official. We thought we had completed everything, but as usual there is always another document we have to sign or something else to fill out. I took a health form yesterday to the girls' pediatrician for him to sign basically stating they didn't have any communicable diseases. Dave and I are finishing up our National Council for Adoption training, which is an 8 hour course we have to take online. It's very informative, but like the book reading we did, it can be overwhelming. I think I am going to be re-reading and learning when it gets a little closer to travel. Just to refresh! I think that above all, this journey is trying to teach me patience. I have such a hard time with waiting or delays, and that's just part and parcel of adoption! I am really wanting to meet with some other adoptive parents who have also adopted from Ukraine, just to talk with them, and maybe get some insight and support.

For a planner...

... This adoption stuff is pretty scary. I have absolutely no control over what is happening, and sometimes that really freaks me out. At least I can trust that it's in the Lord's hands. We read about Joshua yesterday in Sunday School. "Be strong and courageous"... That's what it's going to take! Please God, help me not turn to the right or to the left.

Mother's Day

This Mother's Day brings me both joy and tears. I am so lucky to have my girls! They are such smart, talented, compassionate, nurturing little future mothers. They teach me more about myself than I could have learned from anyone else. I reflect on the values I have expressed to them as the most important ones you can have: Love God, and love others. Everything else stems from that. On the other hand I know that there are children in the world who today and every other day, don't have "mom". For whatever reason they are separated from the woman who was supposed to love, protect, nurture, and hold them. I know adoptive mothering is going to be fundamentally the same, but so much different than biological mothering. "Claiming the right to parent a child with profound loss (which all adoptive children have), doesn't mean we are there to remove their loss or right to greive it. We are there to help our children bear it, which they can do through the security of knowing us. being held by us, and communicating with us" (Sheena McRae).

{sigh}

There are really no words that can express the sadness I feel for the people who have been affected by the tornadoes that have swept through Alabama. Knowing that my fellow nurses are on the front lines caring for people who have been injured, lost family members, or are sitting vigil by their loved ones makes me feel better, but just so sad for everyone involved. My heart just breaks to hear some of the personal stories of tragedy and hope. But I know that my God is good, and that with His help we can overcome the greatest tragedies we face here on Earth. It also reminds me of what is important.

Dave and I are hoping and praying for some miracles right now, not only for our family but for the families around us. We have so much to be thankful for, but there are still so many needs to be met.

Moving slowly

We're moving through the process, slowly it seems to me. I just wish I was to the end and knew what was going to happen! I think the waiting is the hardest part for me. We're still in need of raising money for the adoption, so if you feel led, please donate! We are having a yard/bake sale at our home May 7th if you'd like to donate items or baked goods or would like to help out! Of course all prayers are helpful to us. This has just been SO far out of our comfort zone that I have been on my knees much more than usual. I have no doubt about adopting, but am definitely having more doubts about the days leading up to completion. Just pray for us that God's will would be done in every aspect of our lives. Thanks!

Trying not to cry

So I began reading Adoption Parenting by Jean McLeod and Sheena Macrae (Eds) yesterday. It's so sad for me to think about parenting from loss. I cannot even imagine the feelings and emotions that these children will have, what their outlook will be, and what baggage they will have. It's kind of funny because in Sunday school this past week we discussed rejection by your family and God's redemption that comes along with His overarching will for our lives. The story of Joseph is a wonderful story of rejection and redemption, and mercy. I am not worried about the things that will come as a part of living with that rejection, but I am so sad that my children will have that as a part of their lives. I am so sad that even now as I wait for all the paperwork to get done they are sitting somewhere, not knowing us or what's going to happen to them, and dealing with things I can't even imagine. I wish I could hold them in my arms now and tell them everything will be fine, but I don't know what's going to happen either! One thing that stood out to me is that there are no guarantees in parenting either biological or adopted children. No one is guaranteed a perfect baby or a healthy baby or a happy life. But we are guaranteed a perfect God who can see us through all things, and who loves us more than we can ask or imagine. My heart weeps for these children! Please keep our family in your prayers. We're dealing with some things as a family right now as well. Please just pray for God's provision, healing, and peace.

Home Study Part 2

Dave and I had another home study visit yesterday, which was hilarious. We had to talk about how we met, our first date, what we liked about each other, and how we show the other we love them. It's kind of funny, but I was blushing a bit. We had to discuss how we argue, how we make decisions, and what we normally fight about. I am always kind of embarrassed to tell people that we handle most things together including grocery shopping, laundry, and paying bills. It doesn't seem to be the norm. We also have some things to think about: What characteristics do we want in a child, and which ones would be unacceptable? What are we willing to take on? It's so hard for me to answer those types of questions, but they're definitely valid. We have a lot of homework to do before the next visit, including reading 2 books on attachment and connectedness in adoption. I think they're going to be difficult for me to read.

The Home Study

Yesterday Dave and I had one of our home study interviews. It's kind of brutal! I was laughing today about the questions they ask you that no one asks when you're pregnant and having your own child. I think that part of this process for me is really just a realization of the grace and mercy of God that has been extended to me. I just really felt like I had a lot of guilt left, and now I can fully give it over. A friend of mine reminded me today that this is God's adoption, and He is in control. Thanks!!!

Getting Things Done

If there is one thing this is teaching me, it's that I don't have as much control over things as I think I do! We are meeting with a woman this week at Lifeline here in Birmingham, and I am so excited to just place some of those things into someone else's hands, even though I know that at the end of the day, it's all in God's hands regardless. Everytime I feel like something is telling me to stop or starts to make me anxious I just have to hand it back to Him and take myself out of the equation.

We are starting the fundraising process now, and have t-shirts and will be having a Pampered Chef fundraiser this weekend! Hopefully I can post some pictures soon!

Z&A

Yesterday I left a little early and took Zoe and Addie to breakfast at Panera. It's always nice to have that time with them alone. It's so funny the things they bring up and what they tell you about when there's no pressure and you're just enjoying a pastry (or in my case a sandwich) together. I learned that Addie wants to be a farmer. She will have cows to milk and an apple orchard, along with strawberries and carrots (or as she spells it careits). She also told me that she wants to have 4 children (or maybe 1, 2, or 3), and 2 of them are going to be adopted. Zoe, while telling me about her dream home on the Weatherly Ledges and how her sister is going to bring her strawberries everyday, is going to have 6 children. She says she is going to have 3 of her own and adopt 3. I just thought about how the preacher was speaking on Sunday about leaving a legacy, and what will that be? How long will each accomplishment I have made take to say at my funeral? What will my impact be for the Kingdom? I hope that I can teach them to be compassionate and tender-hearted, but I know that the real thing I must teach them is about God's grace and mercy, and how that should extend to every other person they meet. I can't say that one day they will adopt, because I don't think that every person is called to do that. But we are all called to care for those in need around us, and to make a difference in the world.

Lifeline

We are meeting next week with an adoption agency called Lifeline. They are based here in AL, and are highly recommended by people we know who have adopted from both Ukraine and the U.S. We will see what they have to offer, but I know it would be less stressful for me to use an agency like this rather than going it alone with an adoption attorney. We have some major questions though, so we're going to try and have those answered before we make the decision. I asked the kids if they wanted to come with us to this meeting, but once they figured out they wouldn't be meeting any kids they declined, LOL. Here are a couple resouces I have been directed to and stumbled upon in my searchings:
Lifeline Adoptions
Children's Health System Adoption Program

Beginning the Journey

When I was a 16 I met my husband. We knew almost from the beginning that we wanted to be married. I knew that I wanted to adopt one day. He thought I was crazy. But one day in May of last year, my husband Dave looked at me and told me he was ready. He felt the Lord change his heart and we started the process of "thinking about adoption". Our 2 girls are with us all the way... Ready to bring their siblings home, and not understanding that this is a marathon not a sprint.

We wanted to be able to keep people updated about our progress and allow people to share this journey with us! We're so excited about what's happening in our family and would love for you to pray with us along the way!